Friday, January 30, 2009

At 14 He’s The Youngest Chicago Police Recruit, Ever

Chicago, Il—As officers of the Third District were in the middle of a shift change a young imposter made himself at home, signed out a radio and got himself a citation book. He was assigned to a two officer car and hit the streets out on patrol. Since it is winter and his holster area is covered by a jacket nobody notices he has no gun.

In recent years Chicago police have begun dressing down, abandoning strict uniform requirements. Often no two officers are wearing the same uniforms. The trademark checkerboard field cap with the official and numbered shield has been sidelined for cheap baseball caps. It has been difficult to define just who the real police are anymore.

The imposter’s partner fails to notice he’s too young to be shaving yet or that anything is unusual. The lad was living out an adventure that could soon be a major motion picture!

The big question is how many other imposters could gain inside access to facilities, records and prisoners in lockups? When the ruse was discovered it became a national embarrassment for the Chicago Police Department.

The lapse here is a sign of a much bigger problem rule changes and new security measures will not cure. Political hacks and pretenders fill today’s command ranks. Returning to promotions by civil service testing with the elimination of affirmative action, clout or other contrived hiring criteria would be a great start.

You simply can’t hire and promote people who are unable to do that important job. Clout promotions of unworthy candidates are behind most of the difficulties that are making this department infamous.

Don’t expect real change here because Alderman Ed Burke and Mayor Daley have absolute power and absolute power-- well you know the rest.


Anonymous said...

I always knew when crime got too far out of hand, the women and children would be sent to the front.......

Anonymous said...


Read this story and see what the kid did while at work, too funny.,0,1134999,print.story

Read the comments section on this one too:,cop-impersonate-secret-service-weis-012909.article

It's Not All Real said...

I'm "old school" police....well, from your perspective Paul a newbie, but with well over 20 years on the job now I'm old school. I remember working the southside when I came on and if Supt. Martin caught you without your hat, it was a day, no ifs ands or buts about it. I used to think he was a big JO about it all.

In hindsight I now understand what he was trying to do. He wasn't being an asshat, he was trying to maintain a standard of professionalism in our appearance. Nowadays with all the different uniforms and shit, I'm almost ashamed of our appearance. And the star?......lot of our members don't wear the star, for whatever reason. When I was a youngster, the only time no one wore a star was with the raincoat, and even then many put it on.

Sorry, but the baseball caps and knit caps gotta go. The crown cap and fur lined winter cap are the only hats that we should wear. A hat should be worn at roll call and if on foot patrol, otherwise it's not necessary, but it should still be around.

And the rest of the standards, women with finger nails from a custom salon, jewelery, dreadlocks....we don't look professional, why should we act professional.

Get a uniform standard and stick to it. Wear your star with pride, don't hide it in your pocket. If an asshat wants to beef, not wearing your star won't stop the beef.

Time will tell.

Anonymous said...

This kid is the saviour of the CPD. Chicago Sun Time's columnist, Neil Steinberg is now demanding that J-Fed resign.

It is only a matter of time now.

Anonymous said...

This was bound to happen and more will.CPD is paying for it political hiring sins.Garbage in...garbage out.