Friday, May 04, 2007

Ms. Hilton Won’t Be Staying At The Hilton

Paris Hilton is now set to be a guest of the L.A. County Jail for 45 days. Hilton got the mandatory invitation for a probation violation after she was bagged by police after driving while her license was suspended.

45 days in the calaboose for such an offense is the rule rather than the exception. There is some salvation for Hilton nobody has talked about yet. Some local police departments such as Culver City Police Department would come to Hilton’s aid by offering her accommodations at their cleaner, safer and more comfortable “celebrity dungeon”. Of course for most people there is the daily rate for the privilege of staying under nicer conditions. The judge has eliminated this option for the Party Princess. It’s too bad that the Mayberry Police can’t help this Simple Life star fatten up on some of Aunt Bea’s cooking during her retreat.

Superior Court judge Michael Sauer ordered Hilton to surrender on June 5th to begin serving her sentence. Don’t look for that to happen as her high priced lawyers earn their fees by obtaining a stay of execution until a higher court has an opportunity to intervene. It may be many months before Hilton is forced to do anything at all.

There will be jokes about this that will go on forever. It’s not very funny at all. Perhaps now someone else may avoid a DUI rap, injury or even death by not driving drunk.

Paris Hilton should keep a detailed diary of her experience in her own handwriting. When she gets out she should then put it up for sale on E-Bay and give the proceeds to a worthwhile charity. The publishing rights should also be assigned to the owner of the memoir.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

that porno slut deserves it.

Anonymous said...

Paul,
Can she stay with you in your California condo for the 45 days?

Crimefile said...

I ain't gonna say no! I have to the neighborly thing don't you think?

Anonymous said...

Just use the dip on Hilton that is used on dogs, Paul. You should be ok...